March 2021 - Nurse Appreciation
For the month of March we really wanted to focus on some of the local nurses, specifically the nurses who work closely with COVID patients. While speaking to several nurses from the COVID ICU’s to the COVID step down units the one thing that they all had in common was they were exhausted...mentally, physically, and emotionally. Some of the happiest nurses I once knew were broken.
The fear of getting COVID, or bringing COVID home to a loved one. The constant death that they witness daily, seeing people die alone without having their loved ones to hold their hands, the constant fear of the unknown. And then seeing the public forget that they are STILL fighting this monster. Watching everyone getting on with their “normal lives” but as a COVID nurse, wondering if they will ever be “normal” again. It is all too much for them to process.
The PTSD from this past year is real for nurses.
Most nurses I talked to were not ready to speak on a public platform, it was too much to relive and some also feared being fired for speaking out on what life is like as a COVID nurse. So instead of a video here is a glimpse of why talking about it is so difficult for them. This is what they live through daily.
“Nurses are constantly thinking about the families affected. The hands held. The zoom and FaceTime calls that made a huge difference and the calls just before you intubate someone so they can say goodbye and them saying ``I love you” to only one person with a gasping breath because it’s probably their last.”
“All the way down to as soon as someone is in the ICU having to ask for their phone passcode so the family can get into it when the time comes. Because it happens too much.”
“The sneaking families in the back door when there were absolutely no visitors even in non COVID rooms because you know they won’t make it home with hospice and will die in the ambulance.” “The forbidden hugs and taking off your glove even though it’s a risk because you refuse to have a patient die holding a gloved hand and then the intense paranoia we silently put ourselves through following that move of either bravery or stupidity.”
“The chaos of emergencies where we knowingly rush in with inappropriate gear because we will risk it every time! And getting pulled physically out of the room and being so mad when it didn’t make a difference.”
And that’s only a 30 minute period of time.
“ We all have a fear of what it’s going to do to us physically. And seeing healthy people come in and die. And 20 year olds intubated and basically it’s like a slow track to death. And all the red flags and risk factors and wondering when your number is up.”
“Then trying to be not paranoid and walk into a place with mandatory mask signs up and seeing nobody but you with one on and you just wanna lose your mind because of the traumatic stuff you have seen but instead you just leave, lose it in a mad crying fit in the car, and go home shower twice and shop off amazon. Every human interaction leads to days and nights of vivid nightmares and thoughts that are consuming that they die like your patients”
“It never ends.”
As much as we might all hear what it is like, I don’t think any of us will ever fully understand. I wish there was more we could do but for one day we wanted some local nurses to know that we haven’t forgotten them, that we are grateful for them, and that they matter.
The girls and I spent the day driving to local hospitals to drop off homemade thank you cards and yummy treats. I know it’s not much, but I do know one way to a nurse's heart is with food! I hope this small gesture put smiles on their faces and made their day just a little brighter.
Thank you nurses, and all other frontline workers! You guys are the real heroes of this past year!